Are you ready for a change?

How to approach the three phase of a change that will transform your life

I’d like to begin this new adventure with a post about change, because, in the end, the purpose of this blog, is to help people through a process of change. A change is what I intend to suggest, because, when we have a problem, the first thing to do is to eliminate or modify its cause, if we really want to solve it. Einstein used to say that a fool is a person who keeps on doing the same thing expecting a different result. Change is always scary, however, when you overcome the initial phase of fear and procrastination, everything begins to flow and you feel a deep sense of satisfaction.

It is said that 21 days are necessary to consolidate a new habit, I would say 30.

A journey of transformation can be divided into 3 phases:

1. From day 1 to 10: why the hell am I doing this? In this phase you may feel two contrasting emotions: on the one hand the enthusiasm for making new choices (during the first days), on the other, fear and/or indolence (when the change is not so “new” anymore). In this phase it is crucial to listen to yourself and to try to change step by step, gradually introducing some new habits. Moreover, at this point, many people fail because they don’t remember that this challenging moment is just temporary and they believe that their new habit/s will always be this “hard”. For this reason, 95% of people give up at this stage.

2. From day 10 to 20: It’s getting better, but it’s not as easy as I thought it would be! After the first ten days, a new phase begins, it’s a moment in which you’ll feel more self-confident and you will associate some benefits to the new habit. In any case, at this stage, you’ll have to be determined and commit to holding on: there’s a high probability that you’ll be tempted to give up and go back to your old habits.

3. From day 21 to day 30: I’m unstoppable! These last ten days are crucial to strengthen and consolidate change, it’s a phase in which you’ll be fully aware of the benefits of the new habit/s. If you overcome these last days successfully, the change will last in time, and an actual transformation will take place and your new habit/s will become part of your lifestyle and identity. Please, remember not to give up after the first twenty days! Don’t ever believe that by “taking a break” you’ll be able to start again, hold on and try to resist!

I’m not sure whether reading about these three phases has made you feel confident or more scared than before.

Well, if you feel confident and ready, remember the golden rule of change: always start gradually, (baby) step by (baby) step. If you want it all and now, you may radically change your habits and then feel discouraged and finally give up because it all seems too much for you. So, take your time and listen to your needs (don’t be too self-indulgent, though, you may find all possible excuses not to take action), make a list of your priorities, of the things you really want to improve/change, the most important aspects for yourself. When you accomplish the first goals, go on and focus on the following.

My advice is to keep a “change journal” where you write your feelings, the changes you’ve made and the benefits you’ve experienced.

Always remember that you are doing it for yourself (yes, this time put yourself first) and that when you are fine, the people around you are fine as well, and that only when you are feeling good, you can help them.

If after reading this post you feel worse, my advice is to take some time to think about your feelings and your situation, without having any expectations or making plans. Think about the first thing you’d like to change and try to visualize and feel how different that area of your life would be. In this way, you send a signal to your mind and to your subconscious (it’s often the one that boycotts you) and when the time is right, you will perceive the motivation to change.

To start getting used to it, and to be more motivated, take some small daily actions that help your transformation, such as having a different food for breakfast, taking an alternative road to work, wearing something colourful if you always wear black. Every single gesture is significant.

Anyway, always remember that every extraordinary change starts from the ability to educate your mind through simple and daily actions.

Enjoy the change!